Back of Book Scripts #4
A List of Scripts, of the Inspiring Sort.
Song of Harlem, peaceee,
Do you ever feel a wagging tail behind you? A swath of air most likely [that sounds more like a fart though] but it's taken shape as a tail. This was me yesterday, whisking through the Times Square station to catch the F train and feeling as if I'd grown a tail. [yes, you can catch the F at Times Square, news blast!]
Growing tails is certainly not the obvious way to disappear but what if you needed to grow one, to accomplish something else? Something like blending in. What if blending in afforded you time, peace, thinking room; afforded you Harriet Jacobs' "loophole of retreat?"
In this sense, standing out is the permission slip you need to stand in for something else. Once granted this slip, this moment of invisibility, what do you do; what do you accomplish; what is your strategy?
Though many of the births my mother attended likely happened during the day, I think the night afforded her many things. One of these was her own cloak of disappearance. I'd wake up to hear my brothers or sisters say that Mommy was at a birth. So that was where she stole away to.
Five years ago, I asked myself in a journal:
Have I been missing my mask?..Am I always supposed to wear a mask?
I had been thinking about why I had shied so much from the limelight after many years in performance-based activities from dance to drama, singing. That year, I mostly wanted to retreat but perhaps I did not know how.
I did not know that a mask can hide you but it can also allow you to do what you have to do. As we enter these next few days of tonight's Hunter Moon, Halloween and the Day of the Dead, many of us will wear masks, tails and the like. What might you accomplish behind the scenes? How will your thoughts impact your dreams?
What would you do if you could disappear? What would let up? What would come to the fore? What would you do, or not do anymore?
In any event, I was almost sure that no one could see this tail but I could certainly feel it. I thought to myself have I been speaking of wolves? I quickly scanned the last few conversations I had and remembered my older sister bringing up hyenas. Perhaps, that was where the tail sensation came from.
We were talking about surgeons, who gave us the impression of being prepared to pounce on birthing parents with all their tools. In our minds as we chortled on the phone, we could see them groveling in a pack, waiting for their moment.
Though this was, yes, my most recent conversation mentioning anything of these descendants of coyotes, I can't say this was why I thought I had a tail precisely. Maybe though, I thought I had a tail because upon looking up on the train later in the day, I found this straphanger deep-staring at me. I wanted to say very matter-of-factly: I see you watching me.
What do you see though? And more curiously, I guess I could ask them, do you see my tail?
Join us this morning for a soak circle!
Here's the link: 🛀🏿 soakLIFE | Saturday Mornings by TWIN ♡
Video call link: https://meet.google.com/bte-wrzp-oar
See you!!
Thank you fam. Be with you soon,
NZ
